blah blah blah

I am so out of it. Its so weird how I just daze off into nothingness and when someone asks me what I am thinking about it is in all honesty nothing. If it is something, I dont know what it is. I think its just the pre wedding look. Matt Arnold told me it will all go away once Justin and I are married, its just this mode brides get in, hopefully it will go away, its weird.

The way I feel right now is so odd. I have so so so much to do and yet I have no drive to do it. I just wanna sit at my house all day. Its so weird, usually I like going out and doing things and when I have errands I like to run them, but lately, I dont know what has been going on. This has however bitten me in the rear. I have had so much to do and have not done it, therefore, I am squeezing it all in. Tomorrow I have about 35 things to do and in reality only time for about 60 percent of that. Somehow I will get it all done though. I am excited about the bridal portraits though, its always fun to put on the dress! However, my hair is a disaster, I have never had a worse hair cut, haha! anyway, ill get over it I suppose, hopefully it wont ruin the pictures too badly. So, today I got new contacts, which was exciting seeing as the prescription I have had for the past year was not strong enough and I wore contacts but still couldnt see. So, seeing is fun and i love it, everything is so clear and beautiful!

This is my last week at work, and yes I am excited, but I am so sad because those kids make me feel so loved. They just hang out on me and love on me and tell me Im cool and one kid today actually cried because I was leaving. I really am their favorite coach! hehe

So, another thing that sucks right now is that Justin is still 800 miles away, and it makes me insane. however, tonight he did talk to David Crowder and invite him to the wedding, so that should be interesting. Since Justin is working these camps and all he has the opportunity to meet a lot of cool artists and bands and whatnot so him and David are all tight and so on.

So, like I said, lots to do tomorrow so Im arising early, boo. I cannot wait til Thursday at 7:30, no more gymnastics, and the weekend in Jacksonville begins, yay!

nuts!

good gracious! I am so pooped. Well , thanks to my awesome sister B, I now have all of my invitations addressed and well, it was tiring feat. She addressed all of them and did the inside envelopes, and well, I stuffed. Tomorrow they all go out and its insane how long it took and how much money was spent on them. Anyway, Im glad that part is over. So, if any of you know me whatsoever you know that my mother can at times be a little, uh, overbearing, you could say. Needless to say, she is driving me crazy. Seriously, if she makes one more to do list for me or reminds me one more time of something I should do, I will lose my mind! Partly I just feel like she doesnt trust me. I feel like she thinks I cant do anything without her making sure I did it right. It sucks at time, but Im a grown girl, with a college degree, getting married...BACK OFF! I totally understand the need to have a teachable spirit, but she isnt teaching, she is dictating. Anyway, I just have so much to get done and I stress about it at times and I just wish I didnt have another person stressing me out even more. It will get done, im not retarded!

So, Justin and I had a little tiff today. Basically I am on way to much estrogen and go psycho on him. The thing is, I want him. When I am with him and we see each other daily, Im totally fine. When we are apart, I lose it! I dont really require much, I dont wine about stuff to any type of extreme. The only time I get upset is when we apart and I wanna talk to him and cant for like 20 hours! From 8 last night til like 3 today I didnt talk to him. Last night at 8 when we got off the phone, he said Ill call you in a little while, which to me means, Ill call you in a little while! Not answering the phone the 17 times I call and not calling me til the next day is not "in a little while." So of course I get mad and "punish" him and he is scared crapless and tonight a few minutes ago said he thought I was going to kick his ass, which I wanted to, and totally could! Im crazy, seriously, I was crying on the phone saying, I dont want a lot, just you, I want you to be there when I want you or need you, blah blah, blah, it was sad. The first part of the conversation was me mad though, I think I actually said you better be glad we are engaged! haha, im nuts people, the drugs are getting to me. Eh, tori understands, she always tells me how she says crazy things to ruco in the midst of emotion, it happens! Justin said to me, I thought you were cool, just relax. And seriously, I used to be cool, I might get upset if he said he would do something and didnt, but this was nuts. I really do think its the new addition to my life of the birth control making me crazy, haha! anyway, Tomorrow I have so much to do for the wedding, not really any rush for most of it, but it will make my mom happy thus making me happy! so, im off to bed!

good things and favorites

just a quick list

my new ankle strap black stilettos
amazing sisters
Moe's
Glasses
Flip Flops
a really great dad to have around on Fathers Day!
old John Mayer songs
Pool Floats
Gourmet Coffee
basketball finals
friends who make you feel better about your bad hair cut
cowboy boots
Coldplay in concert on MTV, every night!
my wedding being only 46 days away!!!
friends that will always be there for you
Watermark
cell phones that work!
really good movies!
and finally,

Dierks
Bentley