well its a new year and so I find that it is time for me to look back over the past 365 days and see all that has taken place. A year ago i had just moved home to be with my family before making the big step of getting married and moving away. I was starting an internship for social work and just trying to save money, of which I did not do. I was planning a wedding and looking for bridesmaids dresses and cakes, of which I did do. I was trying to spend as much time with my friends and family back home before I moved 10 hours away and could no longer go to their house at 11 at night and just chill or wait for a hurricane or meet them at Chikfila and run to target. i did all of these things as well, which made me even more sad when it was time to leave. I got married and moved to ohio, learned how to drive in the snow, got a job as a nanny which is something i never imagined doing, my sweet sister lost her little baby boy, we started looking into buying a house, and I had two of my best friends get married and two more get engaged. its just nuts what can happen in a year.
last friday as we were making the long drive home, i was also thinking about what has changed IN me over the last year. i never thought i would have the emotional roller coaster i had. not to wine and complain and say it was awful because i know a lot of people went through way worse and i really have it pretty good, but i was blindsided. I moved up to Ohio thinking it was going to be soooo fun to just be with only Justin and make this change together and I hated it. i loved being with him all the time, but I hated that i could no longer make the drive over to Merry Beth's, or meet Emily for lunch. it was the most lonely i ever felt and the most i ever struggled spiritually. the Lord blessed justin and I with great friends and a great fellowship at our church here. now looking back i see all the hand holding and hugging that the Lord gave to me when i felt lonely or out of my element. that though everything around me changed the preciousness of God's love continued to remain the same and always gave me peace when i was broken hearted.
I now can look back and see how the Lord strengthened justin and i and how he blessed us with the friends and fun we are able to have here. i was just so comortable back home and so it was so hard to leave. im sure when we get ready to leave here i will be sad and it will be hard because we will have just got settled here. I was thinking that maybe I shouldnt get too settled anywhere. I think thats how life itself is and sometimes I mess up. Sometimes I get so comfortable on this place called earth and it satisfies me, however, i know that i should look forward to the journey home, to where we were really created to be. that was just a random thought i had ;) hope you enjoyed it
anyway, im going to get back to getting stuff done around here. love you all, and miss you much
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1 comments:
It's funny how God has to take you through the darkness in order for you to truly understand the light. I'm so proud of the woman you've become through your struggles in Ohio. I see a beautiful growth that could only be fostered by our God. Just like Job you've had to experience the reality of the phrase "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away" and I am happy to see that you are found faithful! I love you and had fun with you this holiday!
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