its just that simple

Right now im just sitting at my friend Jenny's house waiting for her to get home from work so we can watch Lost. I just wanted to write a little entry because today was seriously just the most beautiful day. I love driving to work on days like this. I was just thinking about how gorgeous God is. How everything he has made is perfect. The leaves are changing right now and I love driving down the interstate and seeing the hills all around me in such varying and vibrant colors, it looks so cool. Its times like these when I enjoy the simplicities of life and that I realize what its all about. This morning I was running and I was just talking to God asking Him what I was supposed to do, what my purpose is, what is the point in my existence when it comes down to what He has me here for. He didnt obviously didnt audibly speak it to me but Justins words from a few days ago echoed in my head. Sometimes i try to complicate things and over analyze them. Lately I have not been giving enough credit to the grace that we as Gods children receive. I have felt like I wasnt good enough and that I needed to work harder, or do more, or be better. I was telling Justin all of this recently and he just said, "Jill, you dont have to do any of that, Jesus took care of it all when he died for us and you know that." Which, I do know that, but sometimes I just feel like something that good has to be more difficult to obtain. I know this totally contradicts the doctrine of grace, i just often times feel this way. I feel as if I need to be doing something more with my life. To which all of this Justin replied, "All we are supposed to do is spread the love of Christ and enjoy God being God." First of all let me say that I love my husband soooo much. There are times when I wished Justin was a little more detailed or deep in some situations, but in this, the simplicity of the gospel of Christ and life in and of itself was just what I needed to be reminded of. So today while I was running this was what I was thinking about. I could just hear God saying, Jill, its not that hard, just relax, I have and will take care of everything and i love you so much that there is nothing you can do that will make me love you any more or any less. This might sound simplistic but since when does the love of God and the gospel become mundane? Never. I understand that life comes with unexpected disappointments and hurts and there are problems, but today just running and looking at all the dogs playing and the kids in the park and then driving to work and seeing the beauty of what God has made, and then tonight taking care of the kids in the nursery and seeing their smiles, it all seemed so simple. I really did just enjoy God today and the astounding grace that He offers. I know I can never be self righteous and so there is not point in pining over what more I should be doing; I am Christ righteous, and that is awesome.

Anyway, I think Jenny is almost home so we are gonna chill and watch some TV while the men play their Halo. I love you guys and hope the rest of your week is o so good =)